I homeschool my kids. If you could see my face as I say that I nearly blush each time and I look down at my shoes.
I know you all are telling me, “Be proud you are homeschooling!”
“You are making the best choice for your kids.”
“You are your kids’ best teacher.”
“Didn’t you see the article about homeschoolers going to Harvard?”
And on and on the statements go.
And honestly I don’t buy a single one of these “encouraging” words.
I prove on a daily basis that I am not the best teacher my kids ever had or will ever have.
I cannot say with 100% certainty that homeschooling is the best choice for my kids.
I can’t even say that I love homeschooling all the time.
What I can say is that homeschooling fits in our family routine and schedule better than traditional school.
I do enjoy knowing my kids are learning.
Most days I am really glad I have my kids home with me all the time.
And I really love it when my kids grasp a concept or I see the love of reading or Shakespeare or writing gleam in their eyes.
But I am also pretty sure (about every other week) that I am not the best at teaching my kids every concept.
I stress over whether they really are learning what they need to know.
So I turn to blog posts of perfect homeschoolers with perfect kids and perfect crafts to go with every subject. And I my heart shatters because that will never be me.
Give me a science lab and I am all over shoving dirty dishes out of the way so we can watch the different ways salt dissolves at different temperatures and I will surely prick a finger so we can find out what blood type you have.
But I am not the mom with the perfectly colored and glued lap-books that remind my kids what they learned.
And I am not the mom whose kids are singing about presidents and states and can recite the Gettysburg address at age 3.
But I know beyond a shadow of all the doubts and insecurities I harbor about homeschooling that God called me to teach my kids.
And He didn’t call Suzy Lapbook or Sally Craftsalot or even Shirley Perfect. He called me – Angela the mess Mackey – to home educate my kids. It will be imperfect. I will ask for help – a lot – and I will never ever tell anyone the best or only way to teach her kids.
And maybe when the first few days of school include kids yelling at me, refusing to slow down so I can help, and not wanting to wait their turn so I can help…maybe you can whisper the truth about homeschooling to me too.
“Homeschooling is hard, but worth every hair-pulling minute. God will bless your imperfect stumbling efforts to teach your children. So hang in there momma and always look for the light.”
Angela blogs at Rethinking My Thinking. Catch her there!